On my way home today, I found out that a very good friend of mine was in a horrible car accident. Her and her children were both flown to the closest hospital to be taken care of. My home is almost three hours away from where I go to school, so the drive presented me with an the great opportunity to think about my day and the things that have been happening in my life.
By the time I'd made it to the gas station about 30-minutes into my drive, I still hadn't cried yet. I had teared up taking to my boyfriend, but the worried water works hadn't been unlatched yet. As I was paying for my gas, the gas station worker told me to have a great day.
I caught myself and just stared at him for a second. A part of me wanted to scream in his face, "How dare you say that!! Do you know what just happened to my good friend?? She might be dead before I get to see her again." But, I did not say a word. I just stared in to his dark brown eyes, turned around and headed towards my car.
As I exited the gas station a bell on the gas station door rang and it startled me. I looked into the parking lot at the people filling up their cars. I wondered what had happened to them this morning. Did one of them get fired? Did their grandfather just get diagnosed with cancer? Did one of them land the job of their dreams? Was filling up at this gas station just a stop on their way to something greater than they've ever known?
I reflected on my recent interactions with my family and the still freshly severed ties I now have with my mother. The flesh is such a thin and transparent part of our bodies and yet, so much is hidden from the outside. I thought of my appearance that morning and wondered if anyone had not just looked at me, but actually looked at me. Could they see the pain I was in?
As I fumbled to get my key into the ignition, my thoughts scattered in a million places, a question came to mind.
Can a goldfish drown?
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